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Alright. I'll admit it. I have a licking problem. I lick everything. I lick objects, animate and inanimate alike - even my own self.
thelickinghabitThe reason? I just can't stop thinking about the sweet taste of the Little Giant's underarms!
deliciousThough
Lieutenant Myeer makes fun of me for my strange appetite, it appears,
however, that I am not the only licker on this planet.
homelesspeopleinwalls I was shocked one day when Myeer began licking herself - right in front of me!
shelickstoo She was absolutely shameless in her conduct! If there's one thing I can't stand, it's a hypocrite!
shamelesslicker
The giants, apparently seeing enough of this lewd behavior, decided to break up this
lunacy: They released the the Jingling Bird nearby so that we could give chase.
spendmoretimeplaying As usual, I was quite afflicted by motion blur sickness as I leapt on the feathery prey.
dive1 I then found myself swinging in mid-air, which shocked me at first.
dive2 Puzzled by this unexpected outcome, I realized that the Jingling Bird
must be attached to something. It was a trick! A ruse. There was no way
we could ever ground the bird, and those Giants knew it! I told Myeer that we'd been had by those
giants for their own entertainment.
dive3
Unable to hang onto the Jingling Bird with sufficient strength, she
wasn't quite sure if I was 'alright' in the head. After all, she was
unable to suspend herself above the ground in this manner.
dive4
She tired of the game quickly enough anyway and went to crawl under
some kind of flexible substrate on a large fungus-like life form. That
was when I vented my frustration on her.
disguisedascouch
I don't know what it was - perhaps the fact that we were marooned on an
alien planet. Perhaps it was because I was still not feeling well. Or
maybe it was because I was fed up with Myeer's hypocrisy. To make things worse,
I am still losing my whiskers!
whiskersarevanishingJust
as I was recovering from my mood swing (which are becoming quite
regular) the giants fitted us with strange garments. They're quite a
bit like utility collars, except with an extra collar attached that
encircles the ribcage.
They're not very comfortable, so we were rather outraged by this whole
thing, protesting by acting as if they were too heavy for
us to carry. But then, the giants did something we did not expect: They
took us far away to a bizarre mountainside and set us down there.
exploringthestairs
We had never been this far away from the crash site, so it provided us
with a more complete view of the area. Never before had we encountered
terrain like this - the land itself went approximately one foot in a
vertical direction, then one foot horizontally, then one foot
vertically again, at right angles.
This must have been how the giants find it so easy to come and go from
the precipice to the valley below. I'd love to think about what strange
and wondrous landscapes I will find in the future! Perhaps one day I will live out the rest of my marooned days in peace, away from my stubborn, dimwitted, nipheaded hypocritically-licking Lieutenant!