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Last night, my nose had begun to clog up, and I felt so weak I didn't expect to wake the next morning. I'd even instructed Myeer to eat me if I didn't make it. She told me to just sleep it off.

To my utter astonishment, what should wake me, presenting me with a can of puréed meat than... the giants! And thanks to Myeer's Improbable Translator, I could understand the smaller giant say, "Here's some baby food for my baby!" 

That was when it hit me: No wonder the giants look after us! They must be insane! As I accepted the puréed meat, I mulled over my new situation as an adopted giant offspring.

iamababy  Myeer, on the other hand, was entertaining herself in some distant crevice, so I didn't pay much attention to where she had gone.

After I had my fill of the 'baby food', I went back to the meatballs and tried eating as many as I could before being overcome with thoughts about how many eyes and stomachs belonged to the creatures it was made from.tryingtogrow However, after attempting to wash down the food with Myeer's supposed 'entwash', I was met with a nemesis I did not expect. theevileyedropper A Very Large Squirty Thing full of Super-Concentrated Entwash! Both giants held me down and forced the horrid thing down my throat, again and again until my stomach was audibly full. By the time they had finally released me, I was making sloshing noises all the way to the designated latrine area.

Feeling exhausted, I lay down and took a nap - which was difficult once again because of my clogged sinuses. I awoke when I realized I needed to get back to the latrine area, after which the smaller giant presented me what she called 'real food'. I wondered whether this meant the food it had given me before wasn't real, or if the giant had stopped believing I was a baby and started believing I was something called a 'real'.

 iamareal As Lieutenant Myeer returned from her carefree romping, she commented that I looked more like a giant, inflated jribble than a shriveled ZarrShip Cattain. Strangely, though, I was happy to hear it. sosmallami The next morning I was again greeted by the giants, who served me 'special food'. So what did that make me this time? A 'special'?  specialfood Now finally noticing I was being given special treatment by the giants, Myeer began climbing the walls in excitement. climbingthewall ...Or at least she did when the giants tempted her with a giant black stick: Otherwise she would have been all over my special food! distractingmyeer My entire breakfast was spent with my second officer cavorting around my hidden cave. Never before did I once suspect that Myeer might some time prefer cavorting to stuffing her face. awayfromherfood After that, I am ashamed to note that I had a little accident in the latrine area - when Myeer bowled into me as if she hadn't noticed I was squatting there. To my utter horror, the little giant and the big giant both saw my sorry state. I admit I was sorely embarrassed. But then they did something else I could never have predicted; cornered me and put me in what they called a 'wooden salad bowl' filled with water from a hot spring.

"Why must you humiliate me so?" I cried. "Can't you just leave me alone?" But before I could muster up the strength to escape, they scrubbed me off, dried me with a giant piece of cloth and then wrapped me in another giant piece of cloth.

A planet inhabited by giant aliens that wipe one's butt? Though I wasn't exactly happy over this, I suppose it could be something to phone home about!ineedtophonehome I eventually forgave them for the humiliation and settled down on a little perch overlooking the landscape. Myeer, tuckered out from her past two days of both romping and cavorting, kept me company while I rested. tiredsotired By evening, I found that I was literally riding on the shoulders of giants - despite the fact that they had nicknamed me 'Mustard Bottle' because whatever a mustard bottle is, that is evidently what I sound like. onshouldersofgiants Myeer was not far behind, for the next morning she was already riding on their feet. iloveyourshoe By afternoon she attempted to climb onto the small giant's shoulders, but wound up being distracted by its strong-smelling earwax and the large patches of white powder on its face. tastygiantear I had just settled myself on my perch to watch this antic. No sooner had I begun paying some attention to the sunlit valley below me than Myeer shouted out a warning: "Niyu! The giant is coming for you with a tremendously huge stockpot!"

"Stockpot?" I repeated. Sure enough, a silvery flash was headed right for me - if I hadn't just used the latrine site, I would have surely had an accident right on the spot! I screamed out orders to the Lieutenant to defend me, lest I be cooked alive, but it was to no use. I was soon shut in with a bunch of towels and could hear Myeer's vowing of revenge becoming more distant.stuffedinapot I heard a lot of sounds. Mostly I gathered that I was being transported in a shuttle of some kind. Though I could hear the smaller giant's voice nearby, the stock pot was apparently inhibiting the Improbable Translator, so I could not understand what the giant was saying to me, if it was even to me at all! How many light minutes away they took me, I can only estimate, considering how dark the inside of the stock pot was.

At last, the lid came loose and I thought I was home free - but the next thing I saw was yet another giant, even more grotesque and hairless than the other two! With its four leering eyes fixed on my vulnerably underbelly, it carried out the type of physical examination I normally associate with the Vribari.

Chills traveling down my spine, I was quite glad to be stuck back into the stock pot, even though I could not understand what was being said. It wasn't long before I was transported many more light minutes away, wondering what next horror awaited me. Just when I thought I would surely be pitched out the side of the shuttle, I felt myself being carried upwards and then heard the Lieutenant's voice squealing about how unjust the giants had left her all alone with no one to feed her.

"Myeer, you fool!" I shouted, and soon, she had me sprung from the humongous stock pot, asking me all about my experience in the World of Giants. It was all very odd, especially considering how happy I was to see her for once. I'll never forget her shocked expression when she heard my description of the anal probe I had received, because after the horror wore off, she began laughing hysterically and said; "That's because you're the Craptain, Miss Mustard Bottle!"

I was not amused. Nevertheless, we enjoyed the rest of the evening while being well-fed and cared-for by our resident pair of giants - despite their squirting things they called 'icky aminos' and 'yummy banana medicine' down my throat. Strangely, they tasted quite similar. For reasons I could not fathom, however, the lesser of the two giants seemed to be very upset.

The next morning, I was subjected to another dip in the salad bowl while the other giant thoroughly cleaned the latrine site (as I noticed they had been doing three times a day). With all the warm water soaking into my skin and  strong entwash constantly being pumped into my tummy, I began to feel a bit stronger, like I could recover from this trauma.

I lay down in a patch of sunlight - which is particularly warm on this planet - and waited for it to dry my fur.

inthesun Myeer, on the other hand, would have none of that. attackedfromthere She pulled me from my place, only to reveal to me what she had been busy herself with all the time I had been too ill to  join her: Chewing on the strings which the giants use to affix their enormous footwear.grayisbetter There's one thing I must say about that - I prefer the taste of the blue ones! eatlaces After a few hours of chewing on the immense strings, I was utterly exhausted. iamsmallenough By that evening, I was rested up enough to give Myeer a reason to stop pouncing on me when I least expect it! getoffmemyeer After that little ordeal, we called a truce, just long enough to get a short nap in. friendsnow Later on, I was utterly mystified by the giants presenting me with a very large viewscreen. They pulled out these very primitive-looking encoded devices that were probably about half my size. I was utterly amazed by the resulting pictures and sounds, though I understood none of it. And then once more, while I was distracted....happytopounce "Here's Johnny!" said the smaller giant, as Myeer burst through a nearby metal barrier. I hope that's not what they've decided to name her! justmyeer It was utterly amusing as Myeer tried to reach me through the barrier because of the way it kept knocking her down. rawrgrab Luckily, that all tired her out and by the next morning I woke up with a nose stuffier than ever. I took that to be a good sign, however, considering that all of my nasty disease-ridden fluids are probably beginning to migrate from my gut and out through my sinuses. feelingbetter Right on schedule, the smaller giant returned to us that afternoon as it usually did, and held me for a long time. To my great surprise, its nose was also clogged, while liquid flowed out from its eyes. "I love you, Violet," it said. "Please don't die."

So it did have a name for me. Violet. I'd heard the sound before, though I thought it was some kind of gibberish that meant 'come here'. I don't know what it meant about dying, and I was a bit disturbed by the whole prospect. I was feeling so much better! Why should I die?

And most of all, the giant loved me. Me? Well, if it thought I was its offspring, I could see that. This explained why it was always watching me whenever it was around just in case I needed help. It even spent all its time studying for something it called 'finals' around me just to make sure I was okay.

A little later, the larger giant joined us and positioned me once more on the shoulder of the smaller giant while it studied for its finals. helpwithfinals While I was drifting off to sleep in the twilight, a couple of different giants stopped by. That intrigued the Lieutenant and I. We were all ears. anewgiant While the tall one had interesting and spidery hands, the nearly-as-tall one presented us with strange new footwear! shoesarenice They even had some kind of exotic bird for us to chase (not that it much looked like birds on our planet)! playingwithhappyfeather  For now, I think I will survive. Even the small giant is no longer worried that I will die. Now all I'm concerned about is what I can do about 'Miss Johnny'.  stillpounceonme Cattain Niyu out.

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